Shockingly Funny Death Puns: How to Cope With Death

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Do you have a morbid sense of humor? Well, then Shockingly Funny Death Puns: How to Cope With Death is a dead ringer for you! Ah yes, death puns. A classic source of humor, the kind that has probably been used since ancient times to make light of otherwise dark topics. Though perhaps not everyone necessarily finds them funny – or “all the grave,” if you will – there is something innately charming about a pun well-executed. After all, what else but one’s own wit can help one navigate such tricky topics as death? So let’s take a stroll through some of these lighter-than-air jokes and appreciate their merits before it’s too late…or should I say…graver!

Autocorrect Funny Death Puns

• The inventor of autocorrect just died. His funnel is tomato.
• My autocorrect just died, restaurant in piece.
• I’m going to die four the funeral.
• The hearse just pulled up at my house.
• It’s never too late to stress order a funeral plan.

Funny Death Puns About Spirits/Ghosts

• What did the ghost say when he was offered a job? “I’m really into it, but I don’t have any spectral experience.”
• Why did the ghost take his lunch break at midnight? He needed to catch a quick bite before haunting!
• How do ghosts measure their heights? With a specter-meter!
• What kind of cars do ghosts drive? : !
• Did you hear about the spirit who got lost in the forest? He was totally spooked!
• Why did the ghost go to a holiday camp for spirits? To make some Boo friends!
• Why does a ghost wear sneakers? Because they’re too scared to wear flip-flops!
• What did the ghost say when he saw a graveyard? “This place is to die for!”
• Why don’t ghosts like parties? Because they have no body to dance with!
• Why couldn’t the ghost see his friend? He had already passed away!
• What are ghosts’ favorite streets? Dead Ends!

Funny Death Jokes

• Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some spirits.
• How do zombies refer to death? As “the eternal rest”.
• What did one casket say to the other? Is this you or is this me?
• What do you call a person that hangs around dead people all day? A cemetery worker!

Funny Death Puns for Funerals

Being a “mourning person” is no laughing matter, lol. After all, what kind of funeral isn’t complete without the requisite jokes about mourning? To that end, here are five jokes about being a devoted mourner.

• One might note that nothing says funeral quite like wearing your darkest clothes – it takes true dedication to wear black to every single funeral.
• What do you call the person who never misses a funeral? A funeral hound!
• Have you ever heard of the funeral director goes out of business because of low attendance? It must be pretty tough for them to drum up business if potential mourners only show up for required attendance.
• Why do so many mourner make it rain at funerals? They just want to get as close to Heaven as possible!
• If you ever feel lonely after attending a funeral – just remember at least one other person was there…the deceased!
• This funeral is a grave affair.
• I have grave reservations about buying a funeral plot.
• Let’s put the fun back into fun-eral!

Best Funny Death Puns for Dads

• She was always known for killer puns.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• He used to ring the church bell. Now he’s a dead ringer.
• I was driving along Cemetery Road when I came upon a Dead End sign.
• I just visited my late grandmother’s grave in the cemetery. When I went there, I found her dancing! It was quite the Plot Twist.
• He chose the road death traveled.
• Corpses are lived about being dead.
• Twin monks who ring the church bells have died. They are now dead ringers.
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. The details are sketchy.

Funny Death Puns About Dying

Death tends to be such a serious, fearful matter, but sometimes the best way to deal with it is to face it with some dark humor. Here are the top 10 funniest death puns about dying that can bring a chuckle even in the most somber moments:

• “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…you’ll finish last no matter which you trust!”
• “Betting on life or death? You’d better get ready for all-in!”
• “Your luck’s ran out – you’re going six foot under!” “It’s all over now – kicked the bucket and checked out!”
• “Nothing lasts forever – except heaven and taxes.”
• “Know what happens when don’t pay attention? Say goodbye then hit a membership!”
• “Out like a light – rung my bell toll’d old time tonight.”
• “Life comes at you fast – so does the grim reaper!”
• “You could go at any moment – just bite the bullet today!!”
• “Till death do us part – guard yourself against your own heart.”

Death is inevitable, however funny death puns can make it easier to cope in moments of pain, sorrow, and confusion.

Funny Death Puns Surrounding Funeral Homes

At funerals, some people may break into funeral jokes but don’t be surprised if those around you give you a death stare! When it comes to the funeral director, you will always find them on their best behavior, but behind closed doors, there’s their bad side that only highly trained funeral professionals know about. It is your “forever home”, after all!

• I thought the viewing was last night, but when I got there, the place was dead.
• Being cremated is my last hope for a smokin’ hot body.
• The cheap casket was a dead giveaway! I won it in a raffle.
• He was dying to get into the funeral business.
• I suspected he was sick, and it was a dead giveaway when he signed his will.
• Thanks to our funeral director for being the last person to let us down.
• At my funeral, I want a lot of flowers. It’s on my bouquet list.
• The job of a mortician is to make you feel dead gorgeous.
• After seeing an ad for burial plots, I thought this was the last thing I needed.
• Let us not forget that even when dealing with death, we still have to make sure our ham sandwich is secure! After all, nobody wants their last meal ruined by a casket mishap!
• I came across an advertisement for burial plots, and it occurred to me that it was the last thing I needed.

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Funny Death Puns on Headstones

Been to a graveyard lately? You may have noticed the dark, sometimes morbidly funny puns that adorn many of the headstones that remind you to keep laughing, even during a somber time. Some things found written on headstones are:

Funny Death Puns About Cemeteries

• Walking through the cemetery at night can put you in grave danger.
• The sign at the cemetery states, “Do Not Pass”.
• Recover soon since headstones happen to be costly.
• What is the way to the cemetery? Go straight and take the last rite.
• Gravediggers are overweight due to their cemetery lifestyle.

Skeleton Jokes for X-Ray Technicians

1. Why did the skeleton go to the X-ray department? To get a bone density scan!
2. What do you call a skeleton who won’t get an X-ray? Bone-headed!
3. Why did the skeleton refuse to have an MRI? He didn’t have the stomach for it!
4. How does a skeleton listen to music? Through the ear bones!
5. What do you get when you cross a skeleton and an X-ray technician? A radiantly funny duo!
6. How do skeletons stay up to date with the latest news? They read the bone-ified section of the newspaper!
7. Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the orthopedic surgeon on the other side!
8. Why was the skeleton scared of getting an X-ray? He was afraid it would reveal his dark secrets!

Funny Death Puns About Graves

Laughter may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think about graves, however, wit can still make its way in. Here are 10 puns about graves to make light of a dark situation:

• ‘I always feel so at home in a cemetery—it’s so easy to get comfortable there’
• ‘plenty of people go to their grave early, but I’m going late and taking my time’
• ‘graves are just like a library—they have a collection of books called tombstones’
• ‘my spirit left me long before I went into my coffin—I was already dead by then’
• ‘death is no excuse for bad spelling—grave mistake on your part’
• ‘A graveyard has a healthy stock market—if you’re interested in investing come to take a look’
• ‘now that I’m buried, I finally have all the time in the world’
• ‘you’ll never know if I like your joke–buried too deep for me to comment’
• ‘the cemetery’s getting more overgrown every day! Guess It’s “haunting” season again’
• ‘at least gravesites are always nice and quiet…no one ever talks back when you go there.
• Walking through the cemetery at night can put you in grave danger.

Nurses and Funny Death Puns

Nurses who work in hospice and palliative care often employ gallows humor to cope with frequent patient deaths. This dark humor can range from puns about dying, to irreverent jokes about mortality and suffering. For example:

• a hospice nurse might claim she only works graveyard shifts for the “haunt benefits”
• quip about a patient being unable to check out of the hospital alive because they are “checking out forever”
• story about someone “dying of laughter”.
• sarcasm such as “dying on the job” when referring to an exemption from working overtime,
• comment that they hate funeral potatoes because they are always moist.

These types of jokes show nurses’ resilience in dealing with situations many of us cannot imagine enduring.

Funny Death Puns Using a Play on Words

• If you rush a decapitation, you’ll get a-head of yourself.
• A new printing of “The Necronomicon” would be a new dead-ition.
• The Underworld Newspaper contained too many typos, so they had to hire a new dead-itor.
• It’s partially dead and partially undead. I loved the dichotomy.
• One executioner insisted upon burning victims at the stake. The other executioner insisted upon drowning their victims. They agreed on the result, but for their methods, they were die-ametrically opposed.
• When writing a letter to anyone in charge of a cemetery start with: “Tomb It May Concern.”

Funny Death Puns

• Getting to see the other side takes spirit.
• It remains to be seen if it’s an open casket.
• The crematorium has to urn our business.
• Speaking badly of the dead is a grave mistake.
• My music partner died while we were writing a new song. I guess he’s now decomposing.
• The grim reaper was seen walking near the graveyard and everyone’s blood type ran cold.
• Two coffins were found on a beach but nobody knows what happened to the bodies. It was a real-life mystery shrouded in death.
• Death is inevitable, so let’s make sure we live our lives fruitfully before it comes knocking.
• I went to the doctor because I had a sore throat and he said it was dead serious.
• I heard there was an outbreak of bird flu in town, so I made sure to get a vaccine.
• He wants to become world champion and defeat anyone who stands in his way, no matter how formidable they may be. He seeks out greatness like a champion!
• The funeral was held at the Apple Store due to its large capacity and amenity for mourners.
• I’d like my epitaph to state “Here lies a man who gave it his best shot but kept missing the mark” so everyone can remember me as I am.
• I was put in charge of a raffle at my church. I figured that the winner of the raffle would have to be dead lucky!

Funny Death Puns About Getting Old

• I know I’m getting old. The other day I walked past a cemetery, and two guys attacked me with shovels.
• At the senior home, I once overheard two old men talking. One said “I don’t want to die before I get old!” and the other replied, “You’re too late!”
• A professional skier will never die. They just go downhill.

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9 Funny Death Puns About Chuck Norris

• Chuck Norris is so tough that even death won’t take him – it will just roundhouse kick itself!
• Don’t mess with Chuck Norris or you’ll have to face the consequences…eternal rest from the wrath of his kicks!
• Death says “no” to Chuck Norris, it’s just too scared to say yes!
• Chuck Norris is immune to death because if he dies, then who would be around to deliver justice?
• When Chuck Norris stares at death in the eye, death blinks first every time!
• When Chuck Norris dies, they will have to bury him in a tomb made out of titanium so that he could never escape!
• Not even the grim reaper has what it takes to take down Chuck Norris – death isn’t an option for him!
• Some say that when Chuck Norris passes away, the gates of Heaven won’t open…the gates of Hell will close instead!
• When Death comes knocking at Chuck’s door, Chuck answers with a roundhouse kick and keeps on living like nothing ever happened!

Funny Death puns About Chronic Illness

• When you have a chronic illness, life is just one long battle and death is the ultimate victor!
• You can keep fighting your chronic illness but remember: in the end, only death will give you a real reprieve.
• After struggling with his chronic illness for years, he finally crossed the finish line into eternal rest.
• Even though she was always tired due to her chronic illness, she had no fear of death because she knew that it would bring her much-needed rest!

Funny Death Puns About Doctors

• When a doctor sees death, it’s not a tragedy – it’s just another patient getting cured of illness!
• Doctors know that a patient is close to the end when they hear the Grim Reaper coming for a house call.
• A doctor’s job is to treat people so they can avoid passing away, but sometimes even they can’t cure death!
• When you’re on your deathbed, the doctors give you one final warning: time is running out!
• Autopsies are a dying practice.

Funny Death Puns for Halloween

• On Halloween, corpses come out of the grave to get their candy…it’s a zombie trick or treat!
• For Halloween this year, why not dress up as a ghost and scare the living daylights out of people? That sounds like a real scream!
• Even the Grim Reaper loves to dress up for Halloween – usually in a black cloak and scythe!
• Don’t worry if you’re dead this Halloween, there’s always candy available at the graveyard.
• Death is only temporary!
• a ghost walking into a bar: “What’ll you have?” asked the bartender. The ghost replies “Just some money for the bus home.
• “why don’t witches ride their brooms when they go on vacation? Because they don’t want to fly off-broom!
• “what did the owl say to another owl on Halloween night? “Scream and I’ll hoot!” Fourth, what do you call two witches living together? Broommates!
• “why did the zombie go to the gym every day? So he could stay in shape… or shamble.

These funny jokes are sure to get a few laughs at any Halloween celebration!

Funny Death Puns With the Words “final warning”

• The Grim Reaper always gives a final warning before taking someone’s life!

Funny Death Puns About Politicians

Best Death Jokes With Funny Death Puns

In the days following The Queen’s death, the internet was flooded with best death jokes making the rounds. People were suddenly invested in comedic material that usually only earned polite chuckles or a tepid “that’s funny” response. Facebook memes and Twitter threads abounded with puns

Funny Death Puns for Respiratory Therapist

1. Why did the respiratory therapist switch to decaf? Because they didn’t want to hyperventilate!
2. Why did the respiratory therapist refuse to go to the beach? Because they were afraid of catching sand-pneumonia!
3. Did you hear about the respiratory therapist who could play the trumpet? They had great lung capacity!
4. Why did the respiratory therapist go to the bar? To catch up on some breathing exercises!
5. Why did the respiratory therapist bring a plant to work? To remind themselves about the importance of oxygen!
6. Why did the respiratory therapist refuse to watch horror movies? Because they didn’t want to scare their patients into hyperventilating!
7. Did you hear about the respiratory therapist who started their own perfume line? They called it “Eau de O2”!
8. Why did the respiratory therapist start using essential oils? To help their patients breathe easier!
9. Why did the respiratory therapist become a comedian? They wanted to make sure everyone had a breath-taking experience!

Jokes On Death Row 😂 (all in one video)

Why I Wrote About Funny Death Puns

My late husband was a practical man. When it came to his death, he wanted no ceremony and asked for nothing more than people to celebrate, tell bad jokes, and remember him fondly. As an RN who has seen death up close on multiple occasions, I understand the importance of gallows humor in lightening the mood – especially during dark times like these, A funeral filled with good vibes and laughter sounded much better than mourning somebody we needlessly lost too soon. It’s just a shame that my husband didn’t get to fully experience the puns himself – he would have loved it. This one’s for you, Walter. I love you to death, my “Walnut.”

Want more? Read 53 Hilarious Anxiety Memes to Ease Your Mind because laughter is awesome and One Myth, Two Myth, Mental Health Myths (in Dr. Seuss-like style) because one just isn’t enough.

Conclusion of Funny Death Puns

If you’re a fan of dark humor, there are so many great places online to get your fill. If it’s witty one-liners or morbid situations, these sites have it all!

• First stop, the aptly named Dark Humor Jokes. Here, you’ll find all sorts of twisted quips and morbid musings about everyday life with a touch of cynicism and sarcasm.
• Next up: Sickipedia which has an entire section devoted to humorous jokes even Joan Rivers would be proud of — unless she was one of the punchlines!
• Finally, for those feeling a bit daring, check out MeanJokes. This is the place to go for humor that pushes boundaries and may make some recoil in horror at their content – so read at your own risk!

#StoryofLori