What Is Gaslighting? How Guilt & Gaslighting Is Used In Relationships
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Definition of Gaslighting
What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own sanity. What is gaslighting in a relationship? The abuser will make constant, small, gaslighting statements in order to wear down the victim’s confidence and make them question their reality. This can be used in relationships as a way to gain control over the other person or to make them feel crazy and isolated. If you are being gaslit by someone, it is important to seek help and get out of the abusive situation.
“Gaslighting” is a new show on Starz that is based on true events. It follows the story of a woman who is being gaslit by her husband. He is making her doubt her own sanity and making her believe that she is the one who is crazy. It is a gripping show and I highly recommend it.
Some examples of gaslighting statements might include “you’re imagining things,” “you’re being too sensitive,” or “I never said that.” The goal of these statements is to make the victim feel like they are going crazy and that their reality is not actually real. If you are being gaslighted, it is important to remember that the abuser is trying to control you and that your reality is valid. You should seek help from a professional if you are in an abusive relationship.
Let’s quickly define “relationship”. In this post, a relationship is defined as an emotional or other connection between people – this means at home, work, or school. This includes your friends, family, boss, and coach.
Why is it Called Gaslighting?
The term “gaslighting” is an interesting one, as it originates from a 1938 play of the same name. The plot revolves around a husband who is trying to drive his wife to insanity by manipulating her into believing she is delusional. He did this by turning off gas lights in their home and lying to her repeatedly; when she expressed understanding of the truth, he would simply deny it and convince her otherwise.
As such, people use the phrase “gaslighting” today to refer to psychological manipulation where one person manipulates another into questioning their own sanity or reality. It shows us that even though we may feel like we are being taken advantage of, our feelings are legitimate and can be validated by others. It’s an eye-opening concept that serves as a reminder that trust and adversity can exist in any relationship.
Signs That You May Be A Victim Of Gaslighting
- You constantly doubt your own sanity.
- You are always to blame.
- You feel like you are going crazy.
- You can’t trust your own memories or perceptions.
- Your feelings get dismissed.
- The abuser denies doing or saying things that you know they did or said.
- Your every move is being controlled.
- Isolation from your friends and family.
- The words or actions of another are making people around you anxious.
- You have physical symptoms as a result of the abuse, such as headaches, stomach problems, or insomnia.
I already can hear the comments…” abuser is kind of a strong word, don’t you think?” No, it is not. It can be insidious comments that may not seem like much from the outside, but when you are the victim, believe me, it is a constant work of art, as the victimizer molds the truth around how it is all the other person’s fault. They are never to blame. This is one of the hallmark definitions of emotional domestic abuse.
So How Do You Know If It Is Actually Gaslighting?
Gaslighting involves blatant lies, denial, using what you love against you, creating the loss of your sense of self, words versus actions; love and flattery; projecting, confusion, and “everyone else is a liar”.
In some cases, gaslighting is used by someone psychologists would identify as a narcissist (more on this in the future). Before you read these examples of narcissist gaslighting, I want you to pay attention to the way each one is worded:
10 Examples of Gaslighting Phrases
- “I’m sorry you think I’d hurt you”
- “Do you really think I’d make that up?”
- “You are just trying to confuse me”
- “You aren’t making any sense”:
- “I’d never hurt you on purpose”
- “You are too sensitive”
- “You knew how I would react to that”
- “You don’t really feel that way”
- “I told you that, don’t you remember”
- “You seem stressed, I know__is a lot to handle”
How to Respond to Gaslighting Phrases
To strengthen your resolve in the face of gaslighting, focus on keeping your tone of voice professional while expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently. Keeping steady eye contact and standing straight are all additional ways to demonstrate that you won’t let anyone undermine or control you. When possible, involving a third party who is aware of the situation and objectively committed to maintaining an even playing field may also be beneficial as they can bring awareness to any patterns of behavior that are unhealthy or inappropriate. By remaining confident and communicating clearly, you will be better equipped to deal with being gaslighted in the future.
How To Deal With Gaslighting If You’re Being Victimized
If you’re being victimized by gaslighting, it can be difficult to know how to respond. It is important to remember that you are not crazy and that the abuser is trying to control you.
To prevent gaslighting, it is important for people to build up their self-esteem and trust their own judgment. This can be accomplished through regular mindfulness practices such as meditation or journaling, as well as seeking support from trusted friends or family members. Additionally, individuals should be wary of engaging with gaslighters in any way, whether this means unfollowing them on social media or limiting contact entirely. By taking these steps, gaslighting victims can break free from abusive relationships and reclaim control over their own minds and emotions.
Key Tips For Dealing With Gaslighting
In recent years, there has been a growing trend toward seeking therapy online through therapy collectives. These collectives have become much more accessible as a result of the rise in popularity of platforms such as Facebook and YouTube, which enable people to connect and discuss their struggles with others going through similar experiences. Some of the most popular therapy collectives online include BetterHelp and Talkspace, both of which offer affordable packages that allow users to have ongoing access to therapy professionals. If you are looking for support during this difficult time, then one of these therapy collectives could be the perfect place for you to start. So why not give it a try?
Online-Therapy.com for Gaslighting
My favorite for online therapy is a site called Online-Therapy.com. They offer therapy groups, couple, or individual sessions and are reasonably priced. An extra bonus is that they have modules you can work through, in which you have workbooks for and have lifetime access to while you work through it at your own pace. They are really neat and well-thought out modules. I was also able to get my readers a 20% discount on their therapy! BONUS!! Click on any of the links or the picture to get started today! Now is better than later!
More health plans are covering online therapy due to the increased need during COVID-19. A huge plus for victims of gaslighting is if you are being isolated by the gaslighter and wouldn’t normally have access to the help you need, there is now a way to get it. Who can deny a doctor’s appointment?
How To Stop Gaslighting If You’re The Perpetrator
If you are a perpetrator of gaslighting, it is important to understand the effects your behavior has on others. Gaslighting can be extremely harmful to relationships and can lead to decreased self-esteem and feelings of isolation in victims.
If you want to stop gaslighting, the first step is to admit that you have a problem and seek help. This means acknowledging the damage you have caused and taking responsibility for your actions. It is also important to learn how to communicate effectively and build healthy relationships. Therapy can be an excellent way to do this, as it can provide insight into why you engage in gaslighting behavior and how to change it. Why not start your journey with Online-Therapy.com today and be a better person to those around you by helping yourself?
Finally, it is important to remember that victims of gaslighting are not crazy; they are just trying to survive in an abusive relationship. Respect their reality and do not try to convince them that they are wrong. Instead, offer support and understanding.
Ways To Prevent Gaslighting From Happening In Your Own Relationships
There are several ways to prevent gaslighting from occurring in your own relationships. The most important thing is to be mindful of the small red flags that may indicate gaslighting, such as an individual making overly critical or passive-aggressive comments or attempting to control or manipulate you in some way. If you notice these behaviors, it is important to speak up and set clear boundaries with the other person so that they know that their actions are unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
Additionally, maintaining healthy communication habits both within your relationships and with yourself can also help to reduce the risk of gaslighting. Practicing active listening, communicating openly about sensitive issues, and stepping away from tense conversations before things get heated can all help to mitigate gaslighting behaviors and create a more positive relationship dynamic overall.
For more to read, Shadow Pandemic of domestic violence and Why Domestic Violence Increases During The Holidays And What We Can Do About It and What is a codependent relationship? Let’s dive into that!
