215 harry potter jokes for kids
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215 harry potter jokes for kids you muggles will love

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Need some Harry Potter jokes? Here are 215 harry potter jokes for kids you muggles will love! Get ready for a magical ride filled with laughter as we delve into the world of Harry Potter and unleash a spellbinding collection of jokes that will tickle the funny bones of young wizards and muggles alike.

Harry Potter Jokes For Kids: Character Jokes

In this section, we’ll focus on the beloved characters from the Harry Potter series and conjure up some hilarity that even the strictest professors would crack a smile at. So grab your wands and prepare for a dose of laughter potion as we dive into the realm of Harry Potter character jokes that are bound to enchant and entertain!

harry potter jokes for kids

Step into the enchanting world of Harry Potter with a touch of humor! These kid-friendly jokes will tickle your funny bone and bring a magical smile to your face. From hilarious puns to whimsical wordplay, these jokes are sure to delight Harry Potter fans of all ages.

So gather around, fellow wizards and witches, as we embark on a journey filled with laughter and wizardry. Get ready to giggle, chuckle, and maybe even let out a spellbinding snort or two. Brace yourselves for a magical dose of laughter with these Harry Potter jokes that will leave you spellbound!

  • Why did Harry Potter never go to college? Because he already had a “magical education”!
  • Why are Harry and Ron the best of friends at Hogwarts? Because they’re “charm-pions” of mischief! They’re the dynamic duo who can make any Potions class explode with laughter!
  • Why did Harry Potter go to the mirror store? He wanted to reflect on his adventures!
  • Why was Harry Potter a natural at cooking? He had the “recipe” for success!
  • Why did Harry Potter take up gardening? He wanted to “grow” some magical herbs!
  • How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With quit-itch.
  • What does Harry Potter have that The Dark Lord doesn’t? A nose.
  • Why was Harry Potter such a good computer programmer?… Because he spoke python.
  • What did Harry Potter wear when his hair fell out?… A Hedwig. 

harry potter jokes for kids: hermione granger jokes

Get ready to unleash your wit and intelligence with these Hermione Granger jokes! As one of the brightest witches of her age, Hermione is known for her quick thinking, extensive knowledge, and unwavering determination. These jokes celebrate her cleverness and her role as the brains behind Harry Potter’s adventures.

From her love for books to her magical prowess, Hermione’s character provides ample inspiration for some spellbinding humor. So, grab your wands and get ready to chuckle as we dive into a world of Hermione Granger jokes that will surely leave you laughing like a potion gone awry!

  • Why is Hermione the perfect best friend for Harry? Because she’s spell-tacular! With her brains and magical prowess, she’s always there to help Harry “witch” any challenge that comes their way!
  • Why is Hermione the perfect best friend for Harry? Because she’s the “wand-erful” balance to his mischief!
  • Why did Hermione bring a time-turner to her exam? To “go back” and study more!
  • What did the Harry Potter fan say when they thought they saw Hermione Granger in real life? “Is this a Hogwarts illusion, or have I just found a real-life ‘Granger-ger’?”
  • What did Hermione say when she finished reading Hogwarts: A History for the tenth time? “It’s time to ‘book’ a new hobby!”
  • Why did Hermione bring a Time-Turner to the dance? So she could have a “spin” on the dance floor and never miss a beat!
  • What’s Hermione’s favorite kind of footwear? “Spell-heels”!
  • If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named? Hermitwo and Hermithree.
  • What does Hermione say to Ron when they plan to go out?… Don’t worry, owl be there.

Harry Potter Jokes for kids #1

Harry potter jokes for kids: Ron weasley

Prepare to embark on a laughter-filled journey with everyone’s favorite red-headed wizard, Ron Weasley! Known for his humor, loyalty, and knack for finding himself in hilarious situations, Ron brings a delightful charm to the world of Harry Potter. These Harry Potter jokes for kids celebrate Ron’s memorable moments, his friendship with Harry, and his knack for comedic timing.

  • What did Hermione tell Ron when he got home for Christmas?… Ron voyage!
  • Why does Ron love his pet rat so much? It’s the pet-he-grew up with! (Get it? Pettigrew!)
  • Why did Ron Weasley bring a hammer to Hogwarts? He heard there were “hex-perts” in need of fixing!
  • Why did Ron Weasley bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the “house”!
  • What’s Ron Weasley’s favorite type of joke? A “Weasley” good one!
  • Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president? Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
  • Why did Ron lose the election? People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative.
  • Ron lives a long, happy life and then dies. What does he reincarnate as? A neuron.

harry potter jokes for kids: weasley jokes

Welcome to a world filled with ginger-haired mischief and laughter! The Weasley family, with their vibrant personalities and humorous antics, has captured the hearts of Harry Potter fans around the globe. In this section, we celebrate the wit and charm of the Weasley clan with a collection of jokes that will tickle your funny bone.

From Fred and George’s mischievous pranks to Ron’s endearing clumsiness, these jokes will transport you to the magical world of the Weasleys. So, get ready to laugh like a Weasley at a never-ending joke shop as we delve into a realm of Weasley jokes that are sure to brighten your day!

  • Why did Fred and George start a joke shop? They wanted to bring some “marauders of laughter” to the wizarding world!
  • Why did Fred and George start a reality show? Because they wanted to show the “weasely” side of life!
  • Why did the Weasley twins open a joke shop? Because they wanted to spread “witchful thinking”!
  • What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children? Orange Is the New Black.
  • How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale? Weasley twins are 50 percent off.
  • Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione? He was looking in all the Ron places.
  • George Weasley’s favorite line from Shakespeare… “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.”

harry potter jokes for kids: Luna Lovegood

Prepare to journey into a realm of whimsy and eccentricity with the collection of Harry Potter jokes for kids – Luna Lovegood jokes! Luna, with her unique perspective and charming quirkiness, has captured the hearts of Harry Potter fans around the world. In this section, we celebrate Luna’s endearing character with a selection of jokes that embrace her magical peculiarity.

  • How does Luna Lovegood make her hair look so vibrant? She uses “nargle-dye”!
  • How does Luna Lovegood send her mail? By “Owl Post Express”!
  • Why did Luna Lovegood become a gardener? Because she believed in “growing” her own magical world, filled with mystical creatures and whimsical plants!
  • How does Luna Lovegood like her tea? “Ravenclaw-some”! She enjoys a cup of tea with a touch of eccentricity and a sprinkle of her unique perspective.
  • What did Luna Lovegood say when she discovered a magical creature hiding in her garden? “Nar-glee! I’ve found a new friend!”
  • Why did Luna Lovegood bring a ladder to the astronomy class? She wanted to “reach for the moon”!
  • Why did Luna Lovegood believe in mythical creatures? Because she had a “fantastic beasts-ieving” personality!
Harry potter jokes for kids Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his potions pot and his best friend? They're both cauldron

harry potter jokes for kids: Sirius Black Jokes

Known for his loyalty and shaggy appearance, Sirius Black is a beloved character in the Harry Potter series. In this section, we’ve conjured up a selection of jokes that celebrate his mischief and bravery. From his canine transformation to his mischievous escapades, these jokes are sure to leave you howling with laughter. So, gather your sense of humor and get ready for a Siriusly fun time as we explore a world of Sirius Black jokes that will make you wag your tail with joy!

  • Why are Harry Potter jokes always “Siriusly” funny? Because they cast a spell of laughter that even the most serious wizards can’t resist!
  • Why is Sirius Black’s name a misnomer? Because despite his name suggesting darkness, he’s a “Siriusly” misunderstood character
  • Why did Sirius Black become the life of every wizarding party? Because he had a “Sirius-ly” enchanting personality!
  • I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted. The fifth one was dead Sirius.
  • ” Harry, your godfather is dead.” “Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius.”
  • Roses are red, violets are blue…If you don’t like Harry Potter puns, something is Siriusly Ron with you.
  • Why was everyone scared of Sirius?… Because of Black magic!

harry potter jokes for kids: Barty Crouch Jr. Jokes

Next up in Harry Potter jokes for kids: Barty Crouch Jr. Jokes! Step into the world of deception and mischief with our collection of Barty Crouch Jr. jokes! Known for his masterful disguise and mischievous nature, Barty Crouch Jr. brings an element of intrigue to the Harry Potter series.

  • Why did Barty Crouch Jr. excel in his acting class at Hogwarts? Because he was a “Marauder of Disguise”!
  • Why did Barty Crouch Jr. join the Weasley twins in their mischief-making adventures? Because he wanted to take his pranking skills to a “Crouch-ian” level!
  •  Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody.

harry potter jokes for kids: Hairy Potter Jokes

Get ready for a hairy good time with our collection of Hairy Potter jokes! These pun-tastic jokes celebrate everyone’s favorite boy wizard with a whimsical twist. From his iconic lightning bolt scar to his unruly hair, Hairy Potter (oops, we mean Harry Potter) is the star of these Harry Potter jokes for kids that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

  • Why did they call Harry Potter “Hairy Potter”? Because he’s the wizard with the “mane” character!
  • Why did Harry Potter’s hair join a rock band? Because it wanted to be as wild as his adventures at Hogwarts! It’s not just magic that runs through his veins, but also a strong dose of hair-raising rock ‘n’ roll!
  • Why did Harry Potter finally decide to get a haircut? Because he heard that the “clip-clops” of a pair of scissors were more effective against dark wizards than his unruly hair
  • What do you call it when Harry Potter throws a temper tantrum? A “Hairy Fit”!
  • What is bigfoot’s favorite book? Hairy Potter.
  • What do you call a gardener that has a beard?… Hairy Potter. 

harry potter jokes for kids: Harry Trotter Jokes

From his snout-shaped scar to his wand made of bacon, Harry Trotter will charm you with his oink-tastic antics. So, grab your broomstick and prepare to giggle like a mischievous kneazle as we delve into a world of Harry Trotter jokes that will leave you squealing with laughter!

  • Why did the pig named Harry Trotter go to Hogwarts? Because he wanted to hog all the magical adventures and become the first-ever swine-derful wizard in history!
  • Why did Harry Trotter have a bacon wand? Because he believed in the power of sizzling spells and casting “ham-onious” magic wherever he went! But be careful, his wand might get a bit crispy during intense wizarding duels!
  • What do you call a Potterhead on a horse? Harry Trotter.

harry potter jokes for kids: witch and wizard jokes

Prepare to be enchanted! From spellbinding puns to magical one-liners, these jokes celebrate the enchanting world of witches and wizards in the Harry Potter series. Whether you’re a budding witch, a talented wizard, or simply a fan of all things magical, these jokes are sure to conjure up a smile on your face. So, grab your wands and get ready to laugh like a mischievous pixie as we explore a world of witch and wizard jokes that will leave you spellbound with laughter!

  • Where do older wizards go when they want to listen to swing music with a fun rhythm? Jazzkaban.
  • What’s the favorite dessert of wizards? “Spell-ice cream”!
  • What do you call a group of musical wizards? A “Harry Potter and the Goblet of ‘Rock’ band”!
  • Why did the wizard bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard they had “highly magical books”!
  • Why did the witch take up painting? She wanted to brush up on her magical art!
  • How did the wizard propose to his girlfriend? With a “spell-binding” ring!
  • How does a wizard propose to his partner? With a “magi-ring” ceremony!
  • What do you call a group of wizards who are great dancers? The “Enchanting Troupe”!
  • What do you call a joke that only wizards understand? A “spell-binder”!
  • How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.
  • What do you call a hot dog wizard?… A sau-sage.

harry potter jokes for kids: Spell Jokes

In the wizarding world of Harry Potter, spells are a fundamental part of magical adventures. From the classic “Wingardium Leviosa” to the powerful “Expelliarmus,” these jokes celebrate the whimsy and wordplay behind some of the most iconic spells in the series. So, gather your magical incantations and get ready to chuckle as we explore a world of spell jokes that will leave you enchanted with laughter!

  • How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash? With “Expelli-itch-us”!
  • What do you call a potion that makes you tell the truth? “Sincero-slime”!
  • How do you unlock a door in Hogwarts? With a “charm-ing” personality!
  • Why was Harry Potter sent to the office? Because he was cursing in class.
  • What do wizards in Harry Potter use instead of laxatives? Expellianus.

harry potter jokes for kids: Hogwarts Jokes

Welcome to the enchanting halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where laughter reigns supreme! In this section, we bring you a collection of jokes that celebrate the magic and mischief within the walls of Hogwarts. From the quirky professors to the adventurous students, these jokes will transport you to the world of spells, potions, and unforgettable friendships.

  • How do pigs choose which wizards to be friends with? With the Snorting Hat.
  • What’s the fastest way to get to the bathroom? Loo powder
  • How did Harry Potter get a date to the Yule Ball? He “charmed” his way into someone’s heart!
  • What did Harry Potter say to the Sorting Hat? “I’m ‘sorted’ excited to be here!”
  • How do you organize a party in the Room of Requirement? You just “wish” for it!

harry potter jokes for kids: Dumbledore jokes

Step into the wise and whimsical world of Albus Dumbledore with my collection of Harry Potter jokes for kids that pay tribute to the beloved Hogwarts headmaster. Dumbledore, with his eccentricity and profound wisdom, has become an iconic figure in the Harry Potter series. In this section, we celebrate his unique personality with a selection of jokes that highlight his wit and charm.

  • Where might you find Dumbledore’s Army? Up his sleeve-y!
  • What’s Dumbledore’s favorite kind of candy? “Lemon-drops of wisdom”!
  • Do you like Harry Potter? Because I a-Dumbledore you!
  • What do you call the entrance to a magical gym? A dumbbell door.
  • ow do Hogwarts students go on field trips?… They take the albus.
harry potter jokes for kids: I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4… But I keep hitting a wall. 

harry potter jokes for kids: Harry Potter Series Jokes

Embark on a journey through the magical pages of the Harry Potter series with our collection of jokes that celebrate the enchanting world created by J.K. Rowling. From the first encounter with the Boy Who Lived to the epic battles against dark forces, these jokes capture the essence of the beloved series. Whether you’re a dedicated fan or new to the wizarding world, these jokes will bring a smile to your face and a touch of magic to your day.

  • How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By “walking”! J.K. Rowling!
  • How did the Muggle-born wizard win the Wizarding Chess Championship? By “checkmating” their opponents with strategy and magic!
  • Why did the Wizarding World never run out of milk? Because they had “ac-cow-mulated” enough magical cows!
  • What do you call a postal carrier who can speak to packages? A parcel tongue.
  • Why did J.K. Rowling become a writer? Because she had a “spellbinding” imagination and knew how to “charm” her readers with magical tales!
  • Why does J.K. Rowling have such a wild imagination? Because she drinks a “Pensieve Potion” every morning to keep her creativity flowing! Her ideas are always “magically brewed” and ready to take flight in the wizarding world!
  • On a scale of one to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I? Nine and three quarters.
  • I love Harry Potter, but after re-reading the chapter “The Deathday Party,” I realized something about Nearly Headless Nick. He was a very poorly executed character.
  • I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4… But I keep hitting a wall. 
  • You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of the Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave…

Harry Potter Jokes for Kids: House Jokes

Whether you’re a brave Gryffindor, a wise Ravenclaw, a loyal Hufflepuff, or a cunning Slytherin, these jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. From house rivalries to house traits, we’ve brewed up a cauldron of jokes that celebrate the unique qualities of each Hogwarts house.

harry potter jokes for kids: Hufflepuff Jokes

Hufflepuff, known for their loyalty, kindness, and hard work, is a beloved Hogwarts house. In this section, we’ve gathered a selection of jokes that celebrate the cheerful and determined nature of Hufflepuffs. From their love for plants to their unwavering support for their friends, these jokes are sure to brighten your day like a Lumos spell.

  • What do you call a Hufflepuff who’s a great singer? A “melody-puff”!
  • What do you call a group of Hufflepuffs playing music? The “Harmonious Puffs”!
  • How does a Hufflepuff like their toast? “Badger-ized”!
  • What do you call a Hufflepuff student who lost their wand? “Hufflepuff-and-lost”!
  • What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Gifted!
  • What kind of cereal does Hagrid eat?… Huffle Puffs

harry potter jokes for kids: Slytherin Jokes

In this section, I’ve brewed up a cauldron of jokes that celebrate the cleverness and wit of Slytherins. From their snake-like tendencies to their knack for ambition, these jokes will tickle your funny bone like a mischievous basilisk.

  • What’s the favorite vegetable at Hogwarts? “Slytherin-ach”!
  • What’s Draco Malfoy’s favorite type of music? Slytherin’ roll!
  •  How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron? Just one. She puts her wand in and the cauldron revolves around her.
  • Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.
  • Hows does Voldemort enter a room? He slithers in.
  • What social media channel did Slytherins use?… Snapechat!

harry potter jokes for kids: Ravenclaw Jokes

Get ready to soar to new heights of laughter with our collection of Ravenclaw jokes! Ravenclaw, known for their intelligence, wit, and love for learning, is a fascinating Hogwarts house.

  • What is Cho Chang’s favourite salad? Ravenslaw.

harry potter jokes for kids: Gryffindor jokes

From their thrilling adventures to their unwavering loyalty, these jokes will ignite your sense of adventure and fill you with laughter like a cheering crowd in the Gryffindor common room. So, don your red and gold scarf and get ready for a laughter-filled quest as we explore a world of Gryffindor jokes that will leave you cheering for more!

  • What did the Sorting Hat say to the student who didn’t want to be in Gryffindor? “You’re lion if you think you’re not brave!”
  • Why did the Gryffindor eat their homework? Because their professor told them it was a “piece of cake”!
  • How do you get a Gryffindor’s attention? Yell, “Attention, attention!”
  • How does Harry Potter enter a room? Through the Gryffin-door.

Would You Rather… The Harry Potter Fan Edition!

Challenge your friends to over 140 extreme would you rather questions! Which answers will you either agree or disagree on? Who will outsmart everyone?

harry potter jokes for kids: Magical Creature Jokes

Here we are at Harry Potter jokes for kids: Magical creature jokes! From majestic unicorns to mischievous house-elves, the wizarding world is brimming with fascinating creatures. In this section, we’ve gathered a menagerie of jokes that celebrate the whimsy and charm of these extraordinary beings.

  • What do you call a flattened dragon? A lizard trading card.
  • What else do you call a flattened dragon? A bookmark.
  • What do you do with a flattened dragon? Make origami.
  • Why did the Hungarian Horntail throw a party on “Aragog’s favorite day”? Because it wanted to celebrate with a spider-rific feast and spin some web-tastic dance moves! Just make sure you don’t bring any oversized shoes or broomsticks, or you might accidentally end up as a snack!
  • What are a Hungarian Horntail’s favorite snacks? “Fire-breath crisps” and “flaming hot wings”! When it comes to spicy treats, these fiery dragons have a taste for heat that’s hotter than even the hottest spells. Just remember to bring a bucket of water in case your taste buds catch fire!
  • How do you catch a Cornish Pixie? With “Pixie Stix”!
  • Why did the Boggart become a stand-up comedian? It loved hearing people scream with laughter!
  • Why did Dobby go to school? He wanted to “learn to read between the socks”!
  • Why did the troll take a nap under the bridge? Because it was “trolling for dreams”!
  • What do you call a magical cat that can sing? A “Meow-gical” creature!
  • What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks? Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
  • Which side of a centaur has more hair? The outside.
  • What is Aragog’s favorite day of the week? Flyday!
  • What does Aragog do on his day off?… He goes fly fishing. 
  • Why did Aragog buy a car?… So he could take it out for a spin.
  • Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub… The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.” The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

harry potter jokes for kids: Quidditch Jokes

Quidditch, the thrilling and fast-paced wizarding sport, has captured the hearts of fans worldwide. In this section, we’ve assembled a team of jokes that celebrate the excitement and humor of the Quidditch pitch. From Seekers to Beaters, Chasers to Keepers, these jokes will have you cheering and laughing like a rowdy Quidditch crowd.

  • Why did the Quidditch player bring a broom to the library? Because he wanted to “sweep” up all the knowledge! He believed in being a wizard both on and off the pitch.
  • How do you catch a Golden Snitch? By being “quicker than a click”!
  • Why did Harry Potter bring a ladder to the Quidditch match? He heard the competition was “sky high”!
  • What do call a paid informant in Azkaban? A golden snitch.
  • How do you make a Quidditch player smile? Say, “Broom, broom!”
  • How do you catch a golden snitch? With a “quicker than a blink” net!
  • What did the Daily Prophet headline say when Harry won a Quidditch match? “Potter takes the Golden Snitch, leaves opponents ‘broom-ing’!”
  • Why did the Quidditch player bring a ladder to the game? To reach “new heights” in the sport!
  • Why did the ghost join the Quidditch team? Because they loved “sweeping” through the stadium!
  • What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?… Broom-mates.
  • Why wouldn’t Ron’s car move?… It got stuck in a quid-ditch. 
  • What did the Golden Snitch say when Harry Potter was itchy?… Quidditching

harry potter jokes for kids: Hogwarts Classes and Professors Jokes

  • What’s Professor Flitwick’s favorite type of music? “Charmed-tunes”!
  • McGonagall is a good teacher, but… she has a tendency to be catty. 
  • Harry Potter Pick-up line: You must have been in Professor Flitwick’s class, because I’ve never met anyone more charming.

harry potter jokes for kids: Mad-Eye Moody Jokes

Step into the world of constant vigilance and quirky charm with our collection of Harry Potter jokes for kids – Mad-Eye Moody jokes! Known for his unique personality and electrifying presence, Mad-Eye Moody brings an element of excitement to the Harry Potter series.

  • Why did Mad-Eye Moody never relax? Because he was constantly “spell-fish” for danger and couldn’t find a comfy chair!
  • Why did Mad-Eye Moody never need a flashlight? Because his “shocking” personality always lit up the room! Just be careful not to shake his hand too tightly, or you might get a little jolt of magic!
  • Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor? Because he can’t control his pupils.

The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

Muggle world got you down? Dark Lord actively trying to end you? Horcrux fell into the abyss that is between your couch cushions? Need some laughter but haven’t learned the tickling charm yet? Don’t worry; The Unofficial Harry Potter Joke Book is here!

harry potter jokes for kids: Potions Class Jokes

Potions, the magical art of concocting mystical mixtures, is a fascinating subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In this section, I’ve brewed up a collection of jokes that celebrate the unpredictable nature and comical mishaps of Potions Class.

  • Why did the potions master never date? He thought love was a “stirred, not shaken” potion!
  • What did the potions master say to the unruly cauldron? “Simmer down, it’s time for ‘pot’-ions class!”
  • Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions? They were past their hexpiration date!

harry potter jokes for kids: Professor Snape Jokes

Prepare for a potion of laughter and a pinch of mischief with our collection of Professor Snape jokes! Severus Snape, the formidable Potions Master at Hogwarts, is known for his strict demeanor and sharp wit.

  • Why did Professor Snape stand in line at the potion shop? He wanted to get his “elixir-cise”!
  • Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you’ll never know which “side” he’s on!
  • Why did Professor Snape stand on a chair? He wanted to be a “higher” authority!
  • Why did Snape never join a music band? Because he didn’t want to be called the “Half-Band Prince”!
  • Why doesn’t snape teach herbology? Because his lily died.
  • Which Hogwarts professor gets blamed for everything?… Professor Snape Goat. 

harry potter jokes for kids: Hagrid Jokes

From Potions to Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts to Charms, Hogwarts offers a magical education like no other. In this section, we’ve brewed up a cauldron of jokes that celebrate the fascinating classes and quirky professors of Hogwarts.

  • Why was Hagrid looking for a new job? He wanted to find one with “bigger challenges”!
  • What’s Hagrid’s favorite kind of math problem? “Beast-ometry”!
  • In a snowstorm, Hagrid takes the cremated remains of Harry Potter and throws them out. What does he say? “You’re a blizzard, Harry!”
  • Hagrid: You’re a light bulb Harry! Harry Potter: I’m a watt!? 
  • What did Hagrid say to Tinkerbell when she started working at Dairy Queen?… You’re a Blizzard fairy! 
  • What did Hagrid say to Harry after he was bitten by Lupin?… Yer a hairy wizard. 
  • What is a Hagrid’s favorite drink?… Espresso Patronum. 

harry potter jokes for kids: Death Eater Jokes

Prepare to delve into the darker side of the wizarding world with a touch of humor! The Death Eaters, with their ominous presence and loyalty to the Dark Lord, may seem intimidating, but even they can’t escape a good laugh. In this section, we bring you a collection of lighthearted Death Eater jokes that will have you giggling like a mischievous pixie.

  • Why don’t Death Eaters ever crack jokes? Because they always take everything so “seriously black”! Laughter and dark magic just don’t mix in their world.
  • Where do Death Eaters go on vacation when they want to get a sun tan? Hexico City.
  • Why don’t Death Eaters ever win a comedy award? Because their jokes are always “dark and incant-funny”! Their idea of a punchline is more like a “cruci-laughter” spell. They definitely need a potion to improve their sense of humor!
  • Why do Death Eaters need to lighten up? Because they’re always so gloomy and serious! They should try a charm called “Ridikulolus” to turn their dark frowns into magical smiles. Maybe then they’d find the humor in a good laugh, instead of plotting world domination!
  • What do call a wizard with stinky shoes? A Death Feeter.
  • How does a Death Eater freshen their breath? With “Azkaban-mints”!
  • Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? Because he has only followers, not friends.
What do call a paid informant in Azkaban? A golden snitch.

harry potter jokes for kids: Voldemort jokes

Prepare to face the dark side with a touch of humor as we present our collection of Voldemort jokes! Lord Voldemort, the notorious Dark Wizard and Harry Potter’s arch-nemesis, may be fearsome, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find some laughs in his wicked ways. Here is the section of Harry Potter jokes for kids: Voldemort jokes!

  • Why did Voldemort start a baking show? Because he wanted to be the “Lord of the Scones” and knead some evil deliciousness!
  • What’s Voldemort’s favorite type of music? “Dark Arts-y” rock ‘n’ roll! He loves to headbang to his favorite band, “The Horcruxes”!
  • Why did Voldemort switch to decaf? Because too much caffeine made him “He-Who-Must-Coffee” and he couldn’t sleep without nightmares of Harry brewing trouble!
  • Why did Voldemort never go on a roller coaster? Because he couldn’t handle the “nose-dives”!
  • What did Voldemort say when he lost his wand? “I can’t seem to put my finger on it… or any other body part!”
  • Why did Voldemort start a bakery? Because he wanted to rise to power through “dough-mination”!
  • What is the worst thing you can wear on your feet? A You-Know-Shoe.
  • Why did Voldemort go to school? To improve his “spelling” skills!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? You-know. You-know who? That’s right, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
  • What’s Voldemort’s favorite kind of humor? “Dark comedy”!
  • Why did Voldemort get a job at a bakery? He kneaded a fresh start!
  • Why did Voldemort never use email? He had a “fax-scinating” preference for communication!
  • What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord? A Volt-demort.
  • Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses? Nobody nose.
  • Voldemort: Why so sirius? Sirius Black: Why so nosy? 
  • Anyone else who had committed Voldemort’s crimes would have been riddled with guilt. 
  • How come Voldemort hates the sun?… Because his sunglasses won’t stay up
  • Why did Voldemort change his name?… Because it was a Riddle!

harry potter jokes for kids: Avada Kedavra Jokes

Avada Kedavra, the unforgivable killing curse, may be a serious and dark spell in the wizarding world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find a lighthearted twist to it. In this section, we’ve conjured up a collection of jokes that playfully explore the spell’s name and its deadly reputation.

  • Why did Avada Kedavra fail as a magician? Because it could only make people “disappear” permanently! Talk about a disappearing act gone wrong!
  • What’s Voldemort’s favorite kind of salad dressing? “Avada-Ka-vinaigrette”!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? You know? You-know-who? Exactly, AVADA KEDAVRA!

Harry potter jokes for kids: Dementor Jokes

Dementors, the sinister creatures that drain happiness, may send chills down your spine, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find some humor in their eerie presence. In this section, I’ve conjured up a spellbinding collection of jokes that playfully explore the world of Dementors. From their soul-sucking abilities to their gloomy demeanor, these jokes will cast away your fears and replace them with laughter.

  • How does a Dementor like its coffee? With extra “soul-stir”!
  • What do you call a joke that gets a laugh from a Dementor? “Soul-fulfilling humor”!
  • Are you a Dementor? You just took my breath away.
  • How do Death Eaters freshen their breath? With Dementos.
  • What’s a dementors theme song?… “You take my breath away.” 

miscellaneous harry potter jokes for kids

Get ready to dive into my collection of Miscellaneous Harry Potter Jokes for Kids! In this section, I’ve conjured up a spellbinding assortment of jokes that span various aspects of the enchanting wizarding world.

From hilarious puns to clever one-liners, these jokes will tickle the funny bones of young Harry Potter fans and leave them giggling with delight. Whether you’re a die-hard Harry Potter aficionado or just starting your journey into the wizarding realm, these jokes are sure to entertain and bring a touch of magic to your day.

  • What spell will shoo away a barking dog? Expelliarmutt.
  • What do you call a magical owl that loves to dance? A “twit-two-step”!
  • Why did the Boggart start taking acting classes? It wanted to improve its “scariness range”!
  • Why did the Harry Potter fan start a “Potter-nonymous” group? Because they realized they were “spell-obsessed” and needed support to resist the urge to say “Accio” for everything in real life! It’s a constant struggle, but they’re determined to keep their wizarding world cravings under control.
  • What’s another word for a poorly-constructed overpass? A dumbridge
  • What do you get when you mix a wizard and a vampire? A “Bloody Brilliant Spell-caster”!
  • Why was Draco’s shirt always wrinkled? Because he “Malfoy-t” to use an iron!
  • Why did Draco Malfoy become a baker? He loved making “Mal-foy-gras” pastries!
  • What did the wand say to the hat? “You’ve got me ‘enchanted’!”
  • If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?
  • How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It is the only thing they are good for.
  • How does Harry Potter listen to music? He puts on Sirius XM.
  • What do you call a house-elf in a hotel? A Dobby in a lobby.
  • Why did Neville always sit on two chairs?… Because he is a Longbottom.
  • How did Aragog get in touch with other spiders?… The world wide WEB.
  • Why did it take Harry so long to find all Horcurxes?… Because he was looking in all the Ron places.
  • Why did Lucius Malfoy cross the road twice?… Because he’s a double-crosser.

Harry Potter Jokes for kids(improved)

conclusion of harry potter jokes for kids

In conclusion, I hope you’ve enjoyed this whimsical and enchanting journey through the world of Harry Potter jokes for kids. From the beloved characters to the magical spells, Hogwarts classes, and everything in between, these jokes have brought a touch of magic and laughter to your day. Whether you’re a young wizard or witch in training or simply a fan of the wizarding world, these jokes have surely sparked a smile and brightened your day.

Remember, laughter is a magical power that can unite us all, transcending the boundaries of houses and bringing joy to both Muggles and wizards alike. So keep these jokes in your spellbook and share them with friends, family, and fellow Harry Potter enthusiasts to spread the joy and create moments of laughter together.

Thank you for joining me on this magical adventure of humor and laughter. Until next time, may your days be filled with wonder, mischief, and plenty of Harry Potter jokes to keep the magic alive!

Want more? Read Inspiring Harry Potter Quotes: How To Find Your Inner Witch/Wizard because the quotes are awesome; and A World Of Magic: Longest Harry Potter Books In Order because Harry Potter never gets old!

#StoryofLori

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